Notes for the stand up routine

Even though it’s a short work week for me, the quotes continue.  Over the past week or so, I’ve had a patient tell me they were falling in love with me, another ask me to move in, and another ask to come home with me.  All kidding…of course…I think…

Traveling also brings out the funny. While going through airport security, I was asked if I had a block of cheese in my purse.  As a frequent traveler, I’m used to the routine of airport security- removing the liquids, taking your shoes off, removing the change from your pockets, etc. But this was a new one.  I assured him I did not and then asked if this was a common occurrence to find blocks of cheese (or sausage, he also added) in ladies’ purses. It is.

As I waited to go through the scanner, another security man was very friendly and made small talk (or was he interviewing me to see if I was a threat? Not really sure). He asked where I was going and was surprised to learn I lived in New York.  Moments after this revelation, after the body scan, I underwent a pat down and had my hands swabbed for “things that shouldn’t be on a plane.”  I’m assuming explosives or drugs. I’m not saying the disclosure that I was a New Yorker prompted a more thorough search but…. Although, I’m sure he found the youngish petite blond woman, wearing a Harry Potter T-shirt, a little suspicious.

The best of the week is from Chris at Fox Valley Tech. I attended the Writers’ Police Academy in Appleton, Wisconsin. (The cheese question at the airport is making a little more sense now right?).  I usually don’t credit the person who says the wacky/bizarre/hilarious thing to me but Chris deserves special mention. He made me laugh so hard I cried.

Writers’ Police Academy instructors are all very nice. Some are ridiculously nice, like Chris, who said we can contact him with any questions in the future. This is a dangerous statement to make to a group of writers and I hope he doesn’t regret the decision.  I sent him two questions (which I will not reveal–SPOILERS!) and he promptly replied with a thorough response.  But he led with– For full disclosure – any items we talk about related to your request are done for educational purposes only – should the commission of a crime happen, I would fully cooperate with authorities in all phases – that said, —




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