Six months ago, if you asked me what a petrolhead was, I would have had no idea. I thought a bonnet was a hat & a boot a shoe Texans wear. But I was wrong, so wrong.
While in Cape Town, South Africa, I put on BBC America, one of the few English speaking stations I could get. I hoped to see one of their good mysteries, instead I got Top Gear. I sighed and thought ‘Who could watch a show all about cars for an hour?’ Then I spent the next 90 minutes watching their Patagonia Special. I was hooked. The hosts, Richard, Jeremy and James, made me laugh to the point of tears & the cinematography was so fantastic that I knew I needed to start planning a trip to Patagonia.
Upon my return to the US, I programmed my DVR to record Top Gear episodes. I’ve learned new terms that have slipped into my vocabulary (SatNav, brake horsepower, and a few British swear words.)
I’ve also come to the conclusion that I drive a car the Top Gear hosts would mock (although, at least it’s not a Pruis). I’ve now come to calling my car Vanilla. (It’s more of a description than a name. Yes, I know you shouldn’t name a car. They’ve taught me that too.)
So, Sunday I drove a Lamborghini Gallardo through Velocity Driving. (Thank you Groupon.)
I hope I would have done the hosts proud…but I doubt it.
I pictured my instructor wearing a white suit & helmet and called him “The Stig” despite him introducing himself as Chris. I gripped the steering wheel, doing my best Hammond impression, through the turns. When the instructor told me to step on it, I heard “More power!” in Clarkson’s voice. Sadly, I think I drove more like May (dubbed ‘Captain Slow’) than either of the other two. There was no oversteer, no tire screeching, no spinning out of control.
Because I am a jinx for any TV show I like, Top Gear (with the current, incredible hosts) has now ended. The finale airs tonight on BBC America. I fear I will cry. But, I can guess Clarkson’s response, “Kennedy, there’s no crying in Top Gear.” So, I’ll do my best.
So, ‘on that bombshell’, here’s to Top Gear’s Season 22 Finale.
Photo evidence of me & Velocity Driving’s version of The Stig