I blame Top Gear for this

Six months ago, if you asked me what a petrolhead was, I would have had no idea. I thought a bonnet was a hat & a boot a shoe Texans wear. But I was wrong, so wrong.

While in Cape Town, South Africa, I put on BBC America, one of the few English speaking stations I could get.  I hoped to see one of their good mysteries, instead I got Top Gear. I sighed and thought ‘Who could watch a show all about cars for an hour?’  Then I spent the next 90 minutes watching their Patagonia Special. I was hooked. The hosts, Richard, Jeremy and James, made me laugh to the point of tears & the cinematography was so fantastic that I knew I needed to start planning a trip to Patagonia.

Upon my return to the US, I programmed my DVR to record Top Gear episodes. I’ve learned new terms that have slipped into my vocabulary (SatNav, brake horsepower, and a few British swear words.)

I’ve also come to the conclusion that I drive a car the Top Gear hosts would mock (although, at least it’s not a Pruis).  I’ve now come to calling my car Vanilla. (It’s more of a description than a name. Yes, I know you shouldn’t name a car.  They’ve taught me that too.)

So, Sunday I drove a Lamborghini Gallardo through Velocity Driving. (Thank you Groupon.)

3 (2)

I hope I would have done the hosts proud…but I doubt it.

I pictured my instructor wearing a white suit & helmet and called him “The Stig” despite him introducing himself as Chris.  I gripped the steering wheel, doing my best Hammond impression, through the turns. When the instructor told me to step on it, I heard “More power!” in Clarkson’s voice.  Sadly, I think I drove more like May (dubbed ‘Captain Slow’) than either of the other two. There was no oversteer, no tire screeching, no spinning out of control.

Because I am a jinx for any TV show I like, Top Gear (with the current, incredible hosts) has now ended.  The finale airs tonight on BBC America.  I fear I will cry. But, I can guess Clarkson’s response, “Kennedy, there’s no crying in Top Gear.” So, I’ll do my best.

So, ‘on that bombshell’, here’s to Top Gear’s Season 22 Finale.

A R

Photo evidence of me & Velocity Driving’s version of The Stig

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